Preparing and Sustaining the Breastfeeding Bond

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When Breastfeeding is Hard

This post was edited by a certified lactation consultant and doula.

In 2008 we welcomed our very first child.  After 32 hours of intense back labor, I was really hoping to have an easy go at the whole breastfeeding thing but that just was not the case.

Due to a slight lip tie on my daughter and a severely low hemoglobin on me, I was not able to successfully breastfeed my daughter until she was 15 weeks old.  I actually had to go through the process of re-lactation. 

I was so thankful for the support system that surrounded me and the many inventions that man has made like a breast pump and a supplemental nursing system that were priceless to me during that time.  That was 15 weeks of a lot of work on both our parts which led to a year long successful breastfeeding relationship.

I know that not every woman is able to breastfeed and I do not think there should ever be any shaming in that.  We all love our children.  We all have drastically different circumstances.  We must do what is best for our own situations. 

For those who desperately desire to breastfeed yet struggle to have victory in this area, I want to encourage you that even when it is a long road to reach that victory, it often can be possible through some hard-earned blood, sweat, and tears …. blood, sweat, and tears that you will forever be proud of.

First off, I want to say that I am extremely, irreversibly stubborn - or so my husband informs me often.

Where I would like to refer to my stubbornness as perseverance because it makes me feel better about myself, I know that it was this sheer stubbornness mixed with pride (maybe not the most spiritually profitable combination) that led me to be able to “persevere” in the work to be able to build a successful breastfeeding bond with my daughter.

Not every breastfeeding relationship begins with such difficulty.  I hope that this is the case for you as it is for so many others, but I also believe it is beneficial to prepare oneself for the possible trials that might occur postpartum.

Here are my personal practical tips for preparing for and sustaining that breastfeeding relationship with your baby.

Preparation During Pregnancy

I have all-day morning sickness when I am pregnant.  This often leads to poor nutrition and dehydration.  It is not fun, but it is something especially in the third trimester that can affect your milk supply following the birth.

I had very low iron during my pregnancy with my daughter, so much so that I passed out following her birth and was weak for days.  My milk did not come in, due more than likely, to this low iron.

Most obstetrician offices check their patient’s hemoglobin count somewhere near the third trimester, and this will give you a good gauge to follow. However, I would still highly recommend paying attention to your nutrition including vitamins and minerals before you give birth.

Your body is revving up for a very grueling marathon so you want to train for that marathon.  Staying hydrated and ensuring that you are eating healthy fats along with lots of vegetables and fruits is very important.

5 Easily Absorbable Supplements I Suggest During Pregnancy:

1. Whole Foods Prenatal Vitamin
2. Floradix Iron plus Herbs
3. Red Raspberry Leaf Tea
4. Magnesium Lotion
5. Mineral Salt Baths
6. Fermented Cod Liver Oil

Birth & Breastfeeding

Those first moments following birth are some of the most beautiful memories that I have.  Meeting your little one for the very first time is high like no other.

How can you make those first moments the best start for your breastfeeding relationship with your child?

• A Natural Birth

It is important to note that although a natural vaginal, unmedicated birth is the most ideal option for encouraging a proper start to breastfeeding, this is just not always possible.  There are a myriad of successful breastfeeding stories stemming from c-section and/or other traumatic births.  Don’t let the way your baby entered the world hinder you from trying to breastfeed.  This article from Kellymom.com is a wonderful resource for breastfeeding after a caesarean section.

• Skin-to-Skin Contact

The most important thing to soothe baby after birth and to help mama as her uterus continues to contract and clamp down is to encourage immediate skin-to-skin contact and initiate latch from baby.

If baby will not latch - no worries! The sweet nuzzles of your baby will still aid in encouraging those hormones to produce.

• Delay Unnecessary Procedures

It is important to delay any unnecessary procedures while drinking in this time with your little one.  Most hospitals will allow skin-to-skin time before weighing or measuring baby.  Often they will even clean baby right on mama.  If your hospital does not automatically do this make sure to add it to your Birthing Plan (get one for FREE with The Homemaker’s Companion for both hospital and home births!)

• Breastfeed on Demand

Whether you are at the hospital or at home in the following hours after your birth, it is important to breastfeed on demand.  This will not only help your milk come in but it will also keep your baby happy and healthy. Often babies, lose a little weight when they come home from the hospital, or they develop jaundice.  Breastfeeding your baby will help increase that weight and decrease those bilirubin levels.

• Delay Use of Pacifiers and Bottles

It is good to be cautious and delay the use of any pacifiers or bottles until latch and breastfeeding is established.  I normally use pacifiers about 2-3 days following the birth personally, but it is recommended that pacifier use be delayed 1 month following the birth in order for milk production to be regulated properly. I wait until at least 2-3 months before using a bottle for expressed breast milk just to ensure there is no nipple confusion.

The First Weeks

The first few weeks following birth are some of the most difficult.  Not only are you exhausted, but you are also healing from labor and delivery.  If you had a c-section you are healing from major surgery.

Baby may be using mommy as a human pacifier, and once daddy goes back to work she might feel very overwhelmed especially if there are other children in the home.

The most important thing is to GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK!

So many moms are very hard on themselves and expect to get back to regular life and routine quickly.  Some might expect their bodies to go right back to its pre-pregnancy state and be disappointed when it doesn’t.  Other moms might deal with baby blues or even post partum depression and really be struggling with their identity and feeling confident in their skills as a mother.

It is important to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

There are so many moms who struggle during these first weeks and I think it is helpful to remember that women have been doing this for thousands of years and somehow they made it. 

What’s more?  The Lord knows your struggle and will be your comfort and strength.  Seek Him through His Word and prayer as you walk through this trial.

Some Practical Tips for the First Weeks:

1.) Surround yourself with a good support system.

It is so hard to ask for help sometimes isn’t it?  We want to be superwoman but we must admit it is just not possible.  When dad is home let him take as much off your plate as you can and he is willing.  If you have family invite them over to hold the baby or to watch your other children while you get some things done (or take a nap!).  Do you have other children?  Get them involved and let them help in age-appropriate ways.  If there is no one available to help, consider hiring a mommy’s helper.  If you know a young girl from church who will do this for free or if you need to hire online, this can be a great blessing after a long week!

2.) Find a routine that works for you.

I know there is a lot of debate concerning sleeping/ feeding schedules and such.  I personally choose not to adhere to sleeping schedules but I have friends who swear by them.  You need to find what works for you and your family.  Do not let judgment from others get you down.  We all need to find our own groove with sleep and breastfeeding and it is hard enough without others peering in and giving their $0.02. For those who choose not to do sleep/ feeding schedules, co-sleeping often works.  This can be a more simple way to ensure mommy gets sleep and baby gets fed.  This is a personal choice though and I recommend great care and research before jumping into it because it can be dangerous if not done properly. 

 3.) If you have trouble, get help!

• Where can you find a lactation consultant?
  - your local hospital/ birthing center
  - a doula certified in lactation
  - Le Leche League
  - WIC

What if you are experiencing depression?
Talk to your husband and/ or a friend, maybe even an older woman at church.  Often it just takes being honest with someone about our feelings to work through them.  If you feel that you may hurt yourself or your child it is especially important that you seek help.

Common Concerns with Breastfeeding

Clogged Ducts & Mastitis

Clogged or Plugged Milk Ducts are a common occurrence in breastfeeding mothers.  They are annoying but not dangerous.  They hurt but there is a way to alleviate the pain naturally!

Basically plugged milk ducts are just milk ducts that have an obstruction where the milk is having a hard time getting through.  This will usually develop over the course of a few days and disappear within a week or so.

Mastitis is an infection within the breast.  This can cause blood or puss to come out in your breast milk.  It can cause your breasts to become red and hot.  Mastitis can cause you to have a fever.  If you become acutely ill or if your fever spikes see a physician immediately.  Otherwise, most women can follow the steps below to help with treating these two common issues at home.

You can alleviate the discomfort by following these practices:

• Wear a proper fitting nursing bra
• Nurse frequently and try various positions - even by laying your baby on the floor and dangling your breast above babies mouth can help to release a clogged duct.  It might look funny but the gravity works!
• Massage the breast and compress the breast in the direction of the nipple to try to move the obstruction out of the duct.
• Alternate warm and cold compresses to help with inflammation.
• Nursing in the shower or a warm bath can be helpful.  Don’t let the water hit baby’s face though!  Alternate hand expressing your milk in the tub and nursing the baby to help relieve discomfort.
• Pump and/ or hand express breast milk following every feeding.  You want to make sure your breasts are emptied.
• Breastfeed often!
• Increase your fluids and your immune boosting supplements.

Low Milk Supply

Low milk supply is a very common complaint among new mothers.  It is important to stay confident and to be consistent in order to increase your milk supply.  Breastfeeding is marathon, not a sprint!

1. First things first, buy a breast pump.  The best option is a double electric breast pump.  After much research which you can READ HERE I highly suggest a Hygiea pump.  It is the most hygenic and is the only one sponsored by the Le Leche League.
2. You need to pump following every feeding for at least 20 minutes. This is not only to empty the breasts but to also stimulate the production of more milk.
3. Start taking midwife approved supplements for increasing breast milk supply.  Blessed Thistle and Fenugreek are my go-to combination.  They work every time!  3 capsules, 3 times a day.  Mother’s Milk tea works as well but you have to drink a lot!
4. See a chiropractor certified in both baby and mama care.  Sometimes baby might need adjusting and this will help with latch issues.
5. Seek the help of a lactation consultant. 

• Your baby may have a lip or tongue tie that is hindering your ability to get a proper latch. 
• Weed out any allergies if your baby seems to have an upset tummy when eating.  Often dairy or gluten in your diet is the culprit.
• In severe cases, such as my own, you may need the assistance of certain tools like a supplemental nursing system to help you as you train your little one to latch.  This is the contraption I had to use with my daughter.  It was not fun but I am very thankful for the minds behind those that invent such things!

A Note of Encouragement

Breastfeeding can be a long road but it is worth it, if you are able to traverse it.  Breastfeeding gives your child natural immunity during the first years and helps with brain development.  For you, it can be very fulfilling as you emotionally bond with and physically provide for your child.

If you have or are interested in long term breastfeeding, I invite you to read an article written by my friend Sara over at Your Thriving Family entitled, Breastfeeding Past One Year.

If you are unable to breastfeed, there is no need to feel like you missed out and that you are hurting your baby. 

My second daughter was one such as this.  She was born early and had a deformity which required immediate surgery.  She had much trouble breastfeeding and I felt guilty for years, but in hindsight I am so thankful for what God provided to sustain her little life!

We are so very thankful for our modern day abilities to be able to care for our children when we would otherwise be unable to had they come at an earlier time in history. 

If you do use formula and you are interested in making your own homemade formula I highly recommend looking at this video. 

I also invite you to share your breastfeeding journey below in our comment section.

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What trials have you encountered in your breastfeeding journey?  How did you overcome?

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Lindsey

I am a wife to a wonderful husband and mother to four beautiful children five and under: three girls and one boy. I am a disciple of Christ and I am fulfilling my role to my husband and family as a homemaker. I began The Road to 31 almost two years ago in an effort to focus more as I studied the Word of God and researched those things which were important to me. I found that God used The Road to 31 within my own life to bring community to my front door and allowed me to minister and be ministered to by other women who are walking along the same road as I.

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