It's the Heart Not the Hemline 5 Week Unit Study on Modesty

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One of the most challenging things about teaching our daughters to have a modest appearance is reaching their hearts. Without having a heart that desires modesty, it’s a list of rules and can turn legalistic for many girls. This study guide does an amazing job of exploring the heart of modesty, and not focusing on the rules behind modesty. You will also appreciate that the parents opinions are often sought for during this study. I highly recommend this for any daughter to go through! - Caroline Allen, The Modest Mom, owner of Deborah & CO.

Focusing on the Heart Behind our House Rules

Years ago, I hosted a modest fashion show with a friend. Our purpose was twofold; to address the practical and spiritual applications of modesty. On a practical level, we wanted to dispel the myth that modesty is synonymous with frumpy. On a spiritual level, we wanted to refocus modesty on the heart and not the outward appearance. We named our fashion show, Dressing the Heart, to showcase the conviction in our hearts.

Without realizing it, we headed straight into a storm of controversy. We were accused of being arrogant and legalistic. Others were thankful we had the heart to bring this topic to the forefront. We never intended to provide a dress code. We wanted young girls to value who they are in Christ.

So, here I am today presenting you with a study on the heart of modesty. I am not here to provide you a dress code. I firmly believe clothing choices fall under your authority based on how the Lord is leading your family. It’s the Heart, not the Hemline, focuses on addressing the heart issues which leads to a heart willing to please Christ in how a young girl presents herself. Lindsey and I added in journal sheets for parents to record their thoughts on each lesson so aid you in training your daughter in this area. This study is to aid you in guiding your daughter’s heart in modesty not to provide a list of rules.

During the course of writing this study, I discovered that many moms were having difficulty teaching their daughters about proper dress. Many felt convicted to change their own dress and wanted their daughters to follow in their footsteps. Many others felt they didn’t know where to start since they were new to Christ. These challenges arise when we approach modesty backwards; from the hemline first then the heart. You see, the length of your skirt does not convict your heart. The heart must be convicted in order to make changes for Christ. Of course we want our daughters to dress in a fashion that honors Christ . Yes, they need our guidance which leads us to develop house rules. Let’s just make sure we focus on the heart behind our house rules.

Bringing Up Wise Daughters

Lindsey and I would like to believe this study, It’s the Heart, Not the Hemline, is a good starting point to open up the discussion which will lead to gaining wisdom in modesty. We are not interested in the distraction of arguments over skirt length. We simply want to share how God convicted us through this study to dress the heart before dressing the body. Whether you feel confident in instructing your daughter or not, you will be blessed by the time spent in the Word together through this study.

How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of her heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood?

Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or is it to call attention to herself, and flaunt her… beauty? Or worse, to attempt to allure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance. - John MacArthur

Written by Richele McFarlin, Under the Golden Apple Tree, author of Princess Training and Armor of God.

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Lindsey

I am a wife to a wonderful husband and mother to four beautiful children five and under: three girls and one boy. I am a disciple of Christ and I am fulfilling my role to my husband and family as a homemaker. I began The Road to 31 almost two years ago in an effort to focus more as I studied the Word of God and researched those things which were important to me. I found that God used The Road to 31 within my own life to bring community to my front door and allowed me to minister and be ministered to by other women who are walking along the same road as I.